eldritchbauble:

100 of the first questions I could think of because I like ask games:

1. Have you ever been stood up on a date?
2. How often do you dream and how often do you remember your dreams?
3. What’s the first orange object you see?
4. Speaker, earbuds, or headphones?
5. Most uncommon pet you’ve had?
6. Furthest you’ve ever traveled from home?
7. Pick 5 plants to grow in a garden together:
8. Roll a d20 or pick a random number between 1-20 and tell me a memory from that age (roll until you get an age you can remember something from):
9. Favorite flavor of juice?
10. How many pairs of shoes to do own?
11. What color is the shirt you’re wearing or wore last?
12. What song punches you right in the gut?
13. What song takes you to a happy place?
14. On a percentage basis, how sure are you that a higher power exists? Or doesn’t?
15. Is a mango the ultimate fruit?
16. Favorite breed of dog?
17. Is it Berenstain or Berensitein Bears?
18. Most unusual/strangest food you’ve ever tried? Cooked?
19. Do you think you’d get into the Good Place?
20. Make a smoothie with 5 ingredients:
21. Make a pizza with 7 toppings:
22. What “bad” smell do you actually like?
23. How many languages have you attempted to learn in your life and which ones?
24. What type of tree is closest to you rn?
25. What temperature is it outside?
26. What are you wearing right now?
27. Do you like looking at the shapes in clouds?
28. Favorite flavor of fruit jam/jelly?
29. Have you ever cheated on a partner?
30. What “unloved” animal do you love?
31. If you could magically add 5 fish to an aquarium that met all of their needs and they could cohabitate, which would you choose (size doesn’t matter either)?
32. How old were you the last time you dressed in costume for Halloween?
33. Have you ever traveled alone, and if so, how old were you the first time?
34. Mountains, forest, or ocean?
35. Have you ever broken up someone else’s relationship?
36. What memory comes to mind when I say, “I can’t believe I got away with that…?”
37. What do you hope future you remembers?
38. Do you like your birthday? Or hate it?
39. How do you take your coffee or tea?
40. Pretzels or chips?
41. Donuts or cake?
42. Cookies or cinnamon rolls?
43. What’s your fantasy/ttrpg weapon?
44. Can you play the ukulele, or if not, can you play another string instrument?
45. What’s your favorite day of the whole year and why?
46. Which letters of the LGBTQ+ do you use, if any? If you’re queer what’s your preferred umbrella label for the community?
47. Do you work, if so what do you do, and what would you rather do with your life?
48. Do you do any arts/crafts by hand?
49. Take this opportunity to plug/promo yourself if you want to:
50. Do you like bitter or sour flavors?
51. Do you believe in astrology and either way, what’s your sign?
52. So you think you have good table manners?
53. Do you smoke, drink, get high, etc?
54. Are you or have you ever been religious?
55. Choose a bug that you have to allow to crawl on you:
56. Favorite flavor of chapstick?
57. Are you vegetarian/vegan/anything else?
58. Why do you think humans exist?
59. What temperatures are too hot/cold for you?
60. Do you believe in any cryptids?
61. Do you own a weighted blanket?
62. What’s the scent of your favorite candle?
63. What controversial/unpopular food do you actually like (e.g. pineapple on pizza, mushrooms, candy corn)?
64. Tag 5 blogs/mutuals to go follow.
65. What’s your most recent special interest or hyperfixation media?
66. What’s sensory heaven vs sensory hell to you?
67. Have you ever dined at a 5 star restaurant?
68. What tarot card (if any) do you resonate with?
69. If you could choose one of your life’s problems to solve with the push of a button, what would you fix right now?
70. Have you ever been cheated on?
71. Do you have any books on your reading list?
72. Share a poem you enjoy.
73. What childhood cartoon do you miss?
74. Do you journal?
75. What seemingly basic everyday task do you find difficult to accomplish?
76. What do you feel guilty for?
77. Favorite flavors of CapriSun and Arizona tea?
78. What bad habit do you wish you could enjoy without it being bad for you?
79. Most shocking or disappointing reason(s) you’ve had to end a friendship?
80. The weirdest, most interesting, or most fun story of how you’ve met someone?
81. What’s words are missing from your life right now, that you wish someone said?
82. Have you ever felt fully happy and complete, even if it was short-lived?
83. How many oceans have you visited?
84. Tell me about any paranormal experiences you had.
85. Tell me an unhinged confession.
86. What little thing from your culture/region/country do you love?
87. What do you struggle with in life, and what do you wish people understood about it?
88. What is your favorite dinosaur?
89. Lemon or lime?
90. Have you ever met one of your “heroes” (or in other words just someone semi/famous you are a huge fan of)?
91. Are there any big/ very popular holidays you don’t celebrate?
92. Are dinner and supper different things?
93. Have you ever forgotten your own birthday?
94. Explain what you do for work or one of your hobbies without saying what it is. Feel free to explain in the worst way possible.
95. How different does your life look from the plans you had in high school?
96. Do you like carnival rides?
97. Warm or cool colors?
98. Do you wear glasses?
99. Have you ever used a floppy disc?
100. What’s on your anti-bucket list (things you NEVER want to do in your life)?

(Source: eldritchhbagel)

kasdeya519:

100 NSFW Questions Ask Me!

Here’s 100 NSFW questions we’ve come up with. Send in some numbers and you get your answer.

1. First kiss?

2. First time masturbating?

3. First sex toy?

4. First kink tried?

5. First time doing oral?

6. First time having sex?

Turn Ons

7. Biggest turn on?

8. Biggest turn off?

9. Quickest way to get horny?

10. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on?

11. What’s the most attractive part of the body?

12. Top 3 places to be touched?

13. Ultimate fantasy?

14. Do you like the idea of a three or moresome?

15. Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them?

Preferences

16. How much kissing do you like during sex?

17. Sex or masturbation?

18. Spit or swallow?

19. Cut or uncut dicks?

20. Rough or sensual sex?

21. Oldest person you’d sleep with?

22. Loud or quiet partners?

23. How much foreplay do you like?

24. How much teasing do you like?

25. What is too big for you to take?

26. Do you do hookups or only sleep with a partner?

Location

27. Favourite place to have sex?

28. Would you have sex in public?

29. Last place you had sex?

30. Where would you most like to have sex?

31. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood?

32. Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house?

Kinks

33. What’s your biggest kink?

34. What’s your limit?

35. Are you okay with name calling in bed?

36. Would you do any BDSM?

37. Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up?

38. Favourite type of bondage?

39. Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm?

40. Do you like overstimulation?

41. Do you like having pain involved?

42. Do you like biting/being bitten?

43. Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it?

44. Do you have any strange or extreme kinks?

45. Have any roleplaying preferences?

46. Send a kink with this number. Do you have that kink?

Masturbation

47. Do you own sex toys? How many?

48. Favourite Sex Toy?

49. What do you masturbate to?

50. How often do you masturbate?

51. How often do you use sex toys to masturbate?

52. Do you masturbate with penetration?

53. Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms?

Oral

54. Do you enjoy giving oral?

55. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral?

56. What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral?

57. Do you have a preferred technique for giving oral?

58. Can you deepthroat?

For people with dicks… (you can answer these when you send an ask)

60. How long and how thick is it?

61. Do you do anal? Top or bottom?

62. Are you circumcised?

63. Do you like your balls being played with?

64. Do you enjoy prostate stimulation? Ever came from it?

65. Where do you like to finish?

For people with vaginas…

66. Do you like playing with your clit?

67. How do you prefer to do it?

68. What’s your breast size?

69. How often do you go braless?

70. Do you finger yourself?

71. How familiar are you with your g-spot?

72. Do you squirt?

Sex

73. Favourite position?

74. How often do you do unprotected sex?

75. How loud are you in bed?

76. Do you enjoy having nipples played with?

77. Do you like/dislike/love/hate cum?

78. How good are you at dirty talk?

79. Do you get sleepy after an orgasm?

Other

80. Do you like wearing/seeing people in lingerie?

81. Do you masturbate or have sex with clothes on?

82. What’s your favourite style of underwear?

83. Are stockings/thigh highs a turn on?

84. Ever had somebody say no to a kink you suggested trying?

85. Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? How do you prefer partners?

86. How many orgasms can you have in a day?

87. How many other people know your dick/bra size?

88. What do you wear to bed?

89. Do you eat ass? Do you like having your ass eaten?

90. Try to describe how orgasm feels for you.

91. Have you ever been to a strip club? How was it? If not, would you?

Fun questions!

92. Do you name your genitalia?

93. What would be your stripper name?

94. Any funny sex stories?

95. What food if any would you use during sex?

96. Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift?

97. What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen?

98. Do you often get horny in public?

99. Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom?

100. Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on?

lolawashere:

Meanwhile, on Twitter:

Brain farts, a thread

(via aelorn)

h-widit:

stuff I thought was cute

i-usedtobe-normal:

(via aelorn)

badjokesbyjeff:

2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam

The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other puts his ear to the door to listen. The professor begins asking the question:

“You are riding in a train cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”

The student replies “I open the window.”

“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for new air to replace the old air in the cart?”

The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.

He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do?

He says “I take my jacket off.”

“Ok. But its still too hot. What do you do?”

“I take my shirt off.”

“I understand but its very, very hot.”

“I will just get naked.”

“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard on by watching you strip naked!”

The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”

titaniumstark:

Me posting on tumblr:

(via rogueonestan)

sekiz:

mrspider:

y’all please remember your parent’s being abused by their parents does not excuse what they did to you, even if it “wasnt as bad” as whatever they went through. your dad getting hit as a kid did not give him the right to scream at you till you cried and just because he didn’t hit you doesn’t mean it wasnt also abuse. your mom invading your privacy and betraying your trust in her and trying to get you to do things out of guilt for her lost childhood is still abuse. you are not responsible for fixing something you had no part in causing and im sorry anyone ever made you feel that way.

(via spiceestews)

a-alsaadi-deactivated20220912:

i’m already tired for tomorrow

(via miss-cigarettes)